Cage fight at the White House
Trump is celebrating his birthday by hosting a cage match on the White House lawn. While gas prices soar and Iran smolders, D.C. elites are "willing to brawl" for seats. It’s the ultimate fusion of statecraft and literal face-punching. Can't believe this is being hosted on the White House lawn... 🫣
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Men getting botox... down there
Male influencers are apparently injecting Botox into their nether regions 🍆 for "smoothness" and an extra centimetre of length. It’s incredibly niche, and frankly, if you’re thinking of bringing a needle there for aesthetics, you do you... but we may secretly judge. 🙈😅
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Gaudy, garish, obscene, vulgar...
Just some of the choice words found within 32,000 comments from the overwhelming public response opposing the new East Wing ballroom at the White House. The National Capital Planning Commission asked for their opinion and boy, did they give it. One person described it as “gold, gilded edifice to one man’s ego, an architectural ascent to his self-identification as a royal monarch.” 💯
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Warning: Smart glasses are nearby!
Worried someone's Meta Ray-Bans are secretly filming you? There's apparently a new app called Nearby Glasses that detects for any smart glasses nearby via their Bluetooth signal and sends you an alert. With Meta reportedly adding facial recognition to its glasses, the timing feels rather apt. Sadly, it's not available for iPhones just yet. 😩
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Priest by day, Raver by night
A 52yo Portuguese Catholic priest led Mass at a university in Lebanon, then later spun tracks to a sold-out crowd at a Beirut nightclub. With over 2.5 mil Instagram followers, 'Padre Guilherme' (as his fans call him) uses his sets to promote peace and coexistence. I'm not really a club-goer nor Catholic, but I'd be up for checking him out! 💃🏻🎶
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The drunk raccoon did it
A raccoon in Virginia broke into a liquor store, got drunk, and passed out... next to the toilet, because where else would he be? He was taken to an animal shelter to sleep it off and later released back into the woods. And apparently, it's his 3rd offence in the neighbourhood! 🤔😅
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My worst nightmare come true
A grandmother in Thailand woke up trapped in a coffin that was sent to be cremated! Believing to have died in her sleep, her body was shipped off to a funeral home. Thankfully, she's okay and still alive. But this is my biggest fear, giving me Ryan Reynolds vibes (from Buried) and making me shiver just thinking about it!
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Using umbilical cords as jewellery
Would you use the umbilical cord from childbirth as a keepsake around your neck? That's what Cardi B did, using a company called Mommy Made Encapsulation to shape the cord into a heart, dehydrate it, and cover it in gold chrome. I get the sentiment, but ewwwwwww! 🤢
Business
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Would you return lost cash?
A man accidentally dropped $3,500 in cash at a petrol station in Queensland, Australia. Upon realising it was missing, he called the petrol station and was overjoyed that a kind 17yo teenager had turned it in. And of course, the honest young man was rewarded $1,000. LOVE this story! ❤️ But it does make you wonder, would you hand in that much money if you found it?
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When 500 ppl show up uninvited...
Because apparently “no parties” means the opposite. While the parents were on holiday, their kid threw a Halloween party that spiralled out of control. Up to 500 teenagers flooded a Radcliffe estate in Manchester, prompting police to arrive with tactical units. That kid is so grounded... for life!
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Soothe the savage beast
Or as Jane Goodall, who passed away at 91, would've said, "sentient being." Ron Arias, a writer for People Magazine, wrote about a time when she walked up to a dangerous alpha chimp (in a cage being test for an AIDS vaccine) and simply let him touch and connect with her, because she knew that all he wanted was to be loved. Don't we all, don't we all... RIP Jane Goodall! ❤️
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Size definitely matters
That's according to Matthew McConaughey, but not where your gutter head might be. He was referring to the size of his bed. He attributes part of the 13yr marital success to a sleeping in a smaller bed and being able to cozy up to one another. With the weather turning colder, we can see his point...
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