We wish we were making this up, but a Staffordshire mum genuinely told a van full of teens she was drunk, high and dangerous before doing exactly that. 🚗💥
Each Monday, Alister and Meridyth deliver quick news and interesting stories from the past week to prepare you for the “water cooler” banter. They’ll also squabble over a current issue.
Alister is your classic Labour champion, while Meridyth (an American expat) brings a transatlantic, moderate view.
ALISTER: Did you hear about the goats that got in trouble for messing around? MERIDYTH: Why what happened? ALISTER: It’s alright, turned out to be a couple of kids. MERIDYTH: 🙄
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ALISTER: An 18-month study across four countries just confirmed what every Friday afternoon proves: the fifth day is basically wasted. Output stays the same, burnout drops, and the UK's own trial saw sick days fall by 65%. We've got AI doing half the grunt work now, so why are we still clinging to a schedule designed for factories?
MERIDYTH: Because not everyone works in an office with a ping pong table. Supply chains, hospitals, and supermarkets run seven days a week. Academics already warned this risks becoming a perk for just white collar professionals. Same pay, fewer hours… it’s further dividing the Haves and the Have Nots.
ALISTER: Iceland trialled it with over 2,500 public sector workers and it stuck so well that nearly 90% of the workforce now has access to reduced hours.
MERIDYTH: The 5-day work week was intro’d in the early 1920s by Henry Ford. Before that, it was six. Before that, seven. See the pattern? Give it time and someone will argue the fourth day is wasted too.
ALISTER: But you can’t argue against the fact that 90% of companies in the trial chose to keep the 4-day model and not a single one went back. I'll be over here thriving on my long weekend.
MERIDYTH: The evidence from a self-selected group of office-friendly companies isn't exactly representative. And it doesn't fix “always-on” culture. It just shifts it when the pressure lands. I guarantee you'll still be checking emails on Friday. Hell, I’m still checking emails over the weekend!
Big news this week: Topshop is back on the high street. Somewhere a 35-year-old is already planning a shopping trip and calling it "research." In the spirit of things that make a welcome return, why not send AM Squabble to someone who'd enjoy a weekly round-up of news, nonsense, and the occasional Botox revelation?
🤦 World's worst lost property. A member of the public found a bag of Met Police-issued firearms dumped outside Sadiq Khan's home, complete with an MP5, a Glock and ammunition. The officers tasked with protecting the Mayor had simply left it on the pavement. Five suspended.
💼 Rights, finally. From 6 April, the Employment Rights Act kicked in for 18 million UK workers: sick pay from day one, paternity leave from day one, and a new agency to actually enforce it all. The biggest upgrade to workers' rights in a generation. Good luck to employers still running on vibes and goodwill.
🎤 Ye can't come in. The govt blocked Kanye West from entering the UK, cancelling Wireless Festival entirely. Years of antisemitic and pro-Nazi comments proved too much, even for a sold-out crowd. Wes Streeting called the apology "mealy-mouthed." Farage said don't buy tickets. Everyone agreed for once.
🌞 Records, smashed twice. Britain hit a new solar output record last Monday. Then broke it again a day later! Then approved an 800MW solar farm in Lincolnshire. It seems the US-Iran conflict is quite the motivator for homegrown clean energy going.
🚽 Dodging the fine. Lord Mandelson was caught urinating against a wall in Notting Hill after visiting George Osborne. The council wants to issue a £300 fine. They can't find his address. The man is also under criminal investigation for leaking government secrets. But yes, the wee is the story today.
GOOD NEWS… for a safe landing after Artemis II came back to earth utilising a flawed heat shield everyone already knew about. BAD NEWS… for a news topic that Trump was hoping would die down, after his wife Melania made a rare, unscheduled statement about Epstein. Definitely makes you think why… 🤔
🇭🇺 Goulash, meet your new chef. Viktor Orbán is finally out after 16 yrs as Hungary’s PM, losing to Péter Magyar in a staggering landslide. A gerrymandered system can’t withstand a record turnout or the simple desire for a leader who isn't a human-shaped doorstop for Putin or Trump.
🧵 Unjammable. Unstoppable. Russia has been using fibre-optic drones in Ukraine that trail a physical cable as they fly, making them completely immune to radio jamming. The UK has formally admitted it has no answer and is now asking industry to invent one. By April 21. Good luck, everyone.
🌾 Your food's getting greener. The EU greenlit €144m to decarbonise the French fertiliser industry using clean hydrogen. That's the stuff that grows your food. The Iran war has disrupted a third of global fertiliser supply.
⛽ Ireland’s Gas Pains Irish ministers are scrambling as fuel protests leave hundreds of stations bone-dry. Between tractor blockades and pepper-spraying police, the country is stuck in a high-stakes standoff over soaring prices. It’s basically Mad Max, but with more rain and slightly politer shouting.
🍑 The fountain of youth... butt… New research suggests having a powerful posterior is the secret to living longer. Apparently, strong glutes prevent falls and keep your metabolism firing. So, if you want to live to 100, start worshipping your own backside.
🍽️ Eat boring, lose weight. Researchers found that adults who ate the same meals on repeat lost nearly 40% more weight than those who mixed it up. Your sad desk lunch is actually a genius health strategy. Science said so.
👂 One jab, world unlocked. Researchers just gave ten people born deaf a single gene therapy injection and restored their hearing, sometimes within a month. One seven-year-old was having full conversations with her mum four months later.
📧 Houston, we have an IT problem. Even 30,000 miles from Earth, you can’t escape the blue circle of death. Artemis II astronauts had to call mission control because their Outlook wouldn't sync. NASA astronauts - they’re just like us!
🤰 Surprise delivery. A woman who woke up with what she thought were period pains ended up giving birth on the street while walking to an ambulance. She genuinely believed she was having a "massive poo." Her mum caught the baby. Cryptic pregnancies affect 1 in 2,500 births. Casual.
💻 The AI resistance. Nearly half of Gen Z workers admit to deliberately undermining their employer's AI strategy, from refusing to use tools to faking bad results to make AI look rubbish. Meanwhile, AI super-users are getting promoted three times faster.
By Meridyth
Have you tried to get World Cup football tix? I’ve failed massively. And those lucky enough to get tix have shared nightmare stories like how their Category 1 tix (the top tier) have been assigned to sections behind the goal… only to learn that a new premium level is now available starting in the thousands. 🤯
FIFA has officially entered its "Greed Era." They have an eye-watering $11 billion revenue goal, which has resulted in them trading the "People’s Game" for a U.S.-style commercial circus. By leaning into dynamic pricing, they’ve priced out the actual fans!
FYI - the cheapest seat for the 2026 Final is $4,185! That’s a 500% increase since Qatar. Definite red card to FIFA. 🟥
By Meridyth
How the NHS actually got into business with Palantir, I don’t even want to imagine. But NHS staff are boycotting the new Palantir-run data platform over privacy fears and "ethical bankruptcy." Check out SNL UK’s Weekend Update segment to learn more…
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Whew, you made it!
St George's Day is on the 23rd, but London is getting started early with a free festival in Trafalgar Square on Sunday. Music and thousands of people celebrating a patron saint who was almost certainly Turkish. Join us next week for another Squabble.
Alister & Meridyth