Business
The drunk raccoon did it
A raccoon in Virginia broke into a liquor store, got drunk, and passed out... next to the toilet, because where else would he be? He was taken to an animal shelter to sleep it off and later released back into the woods. And apparently, it's his 3rd offence in the neighbourhood! 🤔😅
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My worst nightmare come true
A grandmother in Thailand woke up trapped in a coffin that was sent to be cremated! Believing to have died in her sleep, her body was shipped off to a funeral home. Thankfully, she's okay and still alive. But this is my biggest fear, giving me Ryan Reynolds vibes (from Buried) and making me shiver just thinking about it!
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Using umbilical cords as jewellery
Would you use the umbilical cord from childbirth as a keepsake around your neck? That's what Cardi B did, using a company called Mommy Made Encapsulation to shape the cord into a heart, dehydrate it, and cover it in gold chrome. I get the sentiment, but ewwwwwww! 🤢
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Would you return lost cash?
A man accidentally dropped $3,500 in cash at a petrol station in Queensland, Australia. Upon realising it was missing, he called the petrol station and was overjoyed that a kind 17yo teenager had turned it in. And of course, the honest young man was rewarded $1,000. LOVE this story! ❤️ But it does make you wonder, would you hand in that much money if you found it?
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When 500 ppl show up uninvited...
Because apparently “no parties” means the opposite. While the parents were on holiday, their kid threw a Halloween party that spiralled out of control. Up to 500 teenagers flooded a Radcliffe estate in Manchester, prompting police to arrive with tactical units. That kid is so grounded... for life!
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Soothe the savage beast
Or as Jane Goodall, who passed away at 91, would've said, "sentient being." Ron Arias, a writer for People Magazine, wrote about a time when she walked up to a dangerous alpha chimp (in a cage being test for an AIDS vaccine) and simply let him touch and connect with her, because she knew that all he wanted was to be loved. Don't we all, don't we all... RIP Jane Goodall! ❤️
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Size definitely matters
That's according to Matthew McConaughey, but not where your gutter head might be. He was referring to the size of his bed. He attributes part of the 13yr marital success to a sleeping in a smaller bed and being able to cozy up to one another. With the weather turning colder, we can see his point...
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"What is this crap?"
A music critic and writer for The New Yorker struck back at all critics saying that everyone is simply too nice these days. Critics need to be brutally honest again. What do you think?
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The rise of 'Menodivorce'
While overall divorce rates may be falling, they're ticking up for those over 50. Some believe this coincides with menopause and perimenopause, as women get more clarity over carrying the mental load. 7 in 10 women in the UK blame menopause for the breakdown in their marriage. So it's not for nothing...
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Snoozing through Wimbledon
During a first set tiebreak in the quarterfinal between Djokovic and Cobolli, fans caught Hugh Grant taking a little snooze... in the Royal Box behind Camilla, no less. Most people found it rather comical, but a few found it rude. We lean on the laughable side... 🤪 Oh, and congrats to this year’s Wimbledon champions, Jannik Sinner and Iga Świątek! 🎾
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What’s the fanciest punctuation?
That’s the joke a Y5 class at Leyton primary school told to win Britain’s Funniest Class. So what is the fanciest punctuation? An a-posh-trophe. 🤣 (Alister certainly approves.)
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No second gunman
After the files to JFK's assassination were declassified, it turns out that Lee Harvey Oswald did act alone and there was no second gunman on the grassy knoll. Finally, conspiracy theorists can go back to focusing on whether the Earth is flat.
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Alexa, stop recording me
From the 28th of March you can no longer opt-out of Amazon's Alexa storing and using your recordings for their own benefit. Let's not forget the $25m fine they received in 2023 for mishandling recordings of children.
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So let's buy California then
A petition in Denmark to buy California has received almost 250,000 signatures, in a satirical response to Trump's aim to acquire Greenland. The petition promises the state's citizens "rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries."
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The 6 Ps in your Go-Bag
1) People & pets, 2) Papers, phone numbers & important documents, 3) Prescriptions, vitamins & eyeglasses, 4) Pictures & irreplaceable memorabilia, 5) Personal computer, hard drive & disks, 6) “Plastic” - credit cards, ATM cards - & cash [According to California's guidance on wildfire evacuation]
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Shrinking economy & stretching the Green Belt 🏡
Never mind the lack of homes or lack of jobs, how much will my coffee cost now?
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If a jaguar purrs while a train runs past, will prisoners hear it?
From overcrowded prisons to commuting woes and even a divisive British rebrand
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Work, woo, or woke
Will Labour get Britain working again? And has political correctness gone mad with the latest Wicked film
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