The drunk raccoon did it

Alister: A new global inequality report just dropped and the numbers are properly grim. Turns out 0.001% of the population, roughly 60,000 people, or the capacity of the Emirates Stadium, holds three times the wealth of the poorest half of humanity. The only sane response is a global billionaire tax with nowhere to hide.

Meridyth: You say ‘global billionaire tax’ like govts aren’t held together with duct tape. Punish wealth too hard and it just relocates. Yes, inequality is obscene. But shouting ‘tax them!’ without a practical blueprint won’t change anything.

Alister: Blueprints are lovely, but we don’t have twenty years to draft the perfect white paper while inequality explodes. Billionaires currently pay a lower effective tax rate than a nurse or a teacher. We need to act now.

Meridyth: But panic-building a fire exit usually leads to a stampede. We need policies that actually capture the money rather than chasing it away, like closing loopholes, coordinated standards, reinvestment mandates. Not fixes that collapse on contact with reality.

Alister: Honestly, fear-mongering about "they’ll all leave" is such an old wives' tale, it’s been debunked. The reality is that inequality at this scale destabilises societies now. As the report says, democracies erode and economies crack under the weight of it. Redistribution isn’t optional anymore; it’s urgent economic triage.

Meridyth: I agree on the triage, but you still need functioning tools to perform surgery. Yes, tax the ultra-rich, but we have to build processes they can’t side-step. Without durable, thought-through systems, we aren't fixing the economy. We're just playing whack-a-mole with billionaires' bank accounts.

From tripping over ottomans to dancing with penguins, Van Dyke remains ancient but evergreen. Even his famously mangled Cockney accent is now viewed with affection as the 100-year-old reflects on a life he calls a "magnificent indulgence." Celebrate his birthday by sharing The AM Squabble!

👋 Catch you later. "Quiet quitting" has escalated from jobs to entire nations. Disenchanted young Brits are packing their bags for Australia and the UAE, seeking better wages and an actual work-life balance. Who knew the British Dream was actually just leaving Britain?

📢 Nativity smackdown. Bishops are taking on the far-right with snarky bus stop posters reminding Tommy Robinson that "Outsiders are welcome." The Church prefers the actual Gospel over Yaxley-Lennon’s version of a white Christmas.

📉 Mortgage war. Lenders are slashing rates to as low as 3.51% in a desperate bid to reignite the market. It’s the lowest since the 2022 mini-budget disaster, meaning we might finally be able to afford a home that isn't a shed.

👀 Nowhere to hide. A new UK satellite mission can see through clouds and track radio signals to pinpoint activity on Earth. It ensures the military gets real-time intel, meaning bad actors can no longer rely on our terrible weather for cover..

🆔 ID please. A new amendment could force all UK VPN users to prove their age with government ID or face scans. Peers argue it’s necessary to protect kids, but privacy advocates warn it undermines the very purpose of having a private network.

GOOD NEWS… for ditching your U.S. holiday travel, after new border rules will force visitors to hand over five years of social media history and biometric data. Can you say, Big Brother? BAD WEEKEND… for unnecessary tragic deaths after a shooting at Brown University in the US and another at Bondi Beach in Australia. The incidents are unrelated.

🇪🇺 Musk vs Brussels. The EU has slapped X with a massive €120m fine for deceiving users with its paid-for "verified" blue ticks. Regulators say the platform breached transparency rules, prompting Elon to demand the entire European Union be abolished.

🔒 EU freezes Russia’s cash… indefinitely. Brussels has invoked an emergency clause to lock down €210 billion in Russian central bank assets, blocking any return until Moscow stops posing economic risks and pays Ukraine reparations. It’s also a pre-emptive shield against outside pressure. Looking at you, Trump-Putin “peace plan.”

🇧🇬 Bulgaria’s breaking point. PM Rosen Zhelyazkov resigned after thousands of protesters flooded Sofia accusing his govt of corruption, just weeks before the country adopts the Euro. After surviving five confidence votes, the sixth became moot when the streets made the decision for him.

🤧 Do fear. Super Flu is here. A "tidal wave" of super flu has hit England, with hospital cases jumping 47% in London alone in just one week. Combined with upcoming strikes, the NHS is facing a worst-case scenario and suggesting that people bring back face masks. 😷

💤 Skip the gym. New research suggests getting enough sleep is more important for your life expectancy than diet or exercise. In fact, it’s the second biggest factor after smoking. Finally, a health kick we can actually stick to, doing absolutely nothing.

😴 Speaking of sleep… A Harvard sleep expert says your perfect rest window isn’t necessarily 8 hours. It might be 5 or 11. What matters more is syncing sleep pressure and circadian rhythm, then waking up at the same time daily. Your ideal sleep length reveals itself once you ditch the alarm.

📅 Wednesday wins again. Therapists say midweek is the sweet spot for starting new habits, which offers less pressure than Monday, more momentum than Sunday, and just enough runway for quick wins. Treat it like a test run, stack small successes, and watch consistency stick.

🌍 Rich list emissions. While we rinse out recycling bins, the global elite are responsible for 50% of aviation greenhouse gases. An Instagram account is now tracking private jets to expose the worst offenders.

📵 Diet Facebook. Meta is rolling out an ad-light version of its apps in the EU to dodge heavy fines from the Commission. It’s not quite ad-free, but it’s slightly less creepy than having your every click tracked and monetised. (We wish the UK were back in the EU…)

🔤 Font wars. Marco Rubio has ordered the US State Department to ditch Calibri and return to Times New Roman, claiming the move will "abolish a wasteful DEIA program." Apparently, using an accessible sans-serif font is now considered "informal" and woke, while serifs are the typeface of freedom. So that’s no for Comic Sans too?

By Meridyth

Let’s talk Advent Calendars. As someone who grew up in the States, it isn’t a thing. It may be for some families, but generally, they’re not that big over there.

Moving to the UK a decade ago… I suddenly took notice after having my son, especially with Amazon promoting themed versions, based on my child’s fancy. So that means, I’ve been paying £20-40 every Christmas for a Train calendar, a Peppa Pig one, a Gruffalo one, a BeyBlade one…

This year I paid a whopping £70 for a Pokémon one that my son begged for (he’s lucky he’s cute), and because I shopped too late, I ended up overpaying an eBay guy cashing in on my desperation…

But then last week, my co-worker told me that he has a wooden calendar where they put in sweets and small toys, and spends maybe £15 max. Wait, that’s an option?!?!? So this is me ranting that the UK really needs a guide for expat parents to keep them from being duped by commercialism. 😩😅

By Meridyth

🚨 The below is NSFW. 🚨

I was looking through some of my old messages in a WhatsApp group chat when I rediscovered this one that had me doubled over in hysterics. It’s over a year old, but trust me… it’s worth resurrecting.

I hope it helps you get through the chaos and madness of the holiday season. You’re welcome. 🤣

This coming Sunday (21st) is officially the shortest day of the year. We’re taking that as our cue to hibernate. Have a fantastic Christmas and we’ll see you on the other side. So don’t join us next week for another Squabble. See you on the 12th of Jan 2026 🎉

Thank you for all the support and feedback across one year of the AM Squabble.

Alister & Meridyth