"What is this crap?"

ALISTER: Tesla's board wants to give Elon $1 trillion dollars?! I’m glad I dumped my shares when the judge called his last package "an unfathomable sum" because the board couldn't prove he added any value. This is madness.

MERIDYTH: Look, I'm not a fan of Musk either, but it's performance-based. He only gets paid if Tesla hits $8.5 trillion market cap. Do I think $1trn is an obscene amount of money that no one person should have? Yes. But if you’re able to outperform, no matter how much I dislike you, you should get paid your worth.

ALISTER: A court in Delaware already ruled twice that Tesla's board lacks independence. It’s stuffed with his mates and his brother! This isn’t performance pay. It’s insiders rubber-stamping his payday.

MERIDYTH: That’s a fair point, but investors aren’t blind. Tesla’s share price is up almost 2,000% in a decade. If shareholders keep voting in these packages for Musk, maybe it’s because they think he’s irreplaceable.

ALISTER: Irreplaceable? Please. Shareholders are voting against this! EV competition is fierce, margins are thinning, its brand rep is tanking, and Tesla’s market share is sliding. Paying him like he’s still a genius disruptor feels like rewarding past glory, not present performance.

MERIDYTH: Or maybe they’re betting on future disruption like AI, robotics, energy storage. If Musk delivers, Tesla could be worth a lot. If not, he gets nothing. That’s the gamble they’ve signed up for. But don’t worry, I’m rooting against him.

🤹 Cabinet shake-up. Since Angela Rayner’s resignation, Starmer has been doing a mini makeover. David Lammy is now deputy PM, Yvette Cooper is the foreign secretary, and asylum seekers may be moved to military barracks amid policy shifts and protests. Critics say Starmer is shifting Labour to the right, as he seeks to toughen immigration and reset his team.

🛶 Targeting migrants. Speaking of immigration, the Home Office launched social media ads in France, targeting those likely to cross the channel illegally and warning them of deportation. Surely they know this already? 🤔

🎯 Targeting automakers. The same cybercriminals who hacked M&S have also attacked Jaguar Land Rover’s digital systems. Production has been temporarily halted, workers were told to stay home, and car buyers were told that the disruption could last until October!

🥴 You’re not fired! Calling your boss a “dickhead” is not a sackable offence. A woman was immediately fired after insulting her manager, but a tribunal deemed it insufficient. So go ahead, insult your boss this week… 🤪

🚇 Still striking. If you’re in London, it’ll be a painful commute this week, as tube strikes are still on through Thursday. All lines are impacted, but Overground and National Rail are still good to go.

GOOD NEWS… for wetlands as Finland and Poland are considering restoring them to help defend against Russian tanks. BAD NEWS… for those visiting Lisbon after a cable from its famous Gloria funicular snapped, sending the carriage down at 37mph and crashing, killing 16 people (including 3 Brits).

🇸🇪 That’s not what I meant by “Girl Power.” Sweden’s organised crime scene is an equal opportunities nightmare. Teen girls now moonlight as hitwomen, eager to outdo the boys in ruthlessness. Awkward for the welfare state, but apparently murder and mayhem are Sweden’s hottest extracurricular activities this term. 😬

🇺🇸🇰🇷 Awkward. Almost 500 immigrants, mostly South Koreans, were detained in an ICE raid at Hyundai's EV plant in Georgia, U.S., sparking Seoul’s ire over protection for its citizens. Trump has defended the operation, which strains US-South Korea ties and clashes with his push for domestic manufacturing growth.

🇦🇫 Unable to help. A 6.2 earthquake hit Afghanistan last Thursday. To make matters worse, a Taliban rule says females cannot have skin contact with males, leaving women trapped under rubble waiting until more female responders arrive or not saved at all!

☀️ Not sunblock, more like sunbake! A trusted consumer advocacy group shocked Australians, who are sticklers for sunscreen, with news that several popular sunscreens have SPF that is dramatically lower than they claim. Britons should take note, as some of these brands are also found here!

📺 TV is healthy! Binge-watching isn’t brain rot. It’s brain fuel! Studies say binging your favourite shows deepens memory, sparks reflection, and offers comfort when life gets messy. So next time you hit “play next,” don’t feel guilty and just enjoy.

🍼 Hush now. A study on how parents soothe children has highlighted some cultural differences. British parents quickly leap into action, Ugandan parents take their time, but babies don’t care about speed. It’s the method (e.g. nursing, cuddles, rhythm) that matters. Less stopwatch, more touch.

🚀 “I am your father.” What could be more iconic than that Star Wars movie line? Turns out, it’s Darth Vader’s prop light sabre. In a record breaking auction the priceless piece of memorabilia sold for $3.7m! 🤯 

🧴 Seriously, sunscreen! Gordon Ramsay has shared he’s received surgery after a skin cancer diagnosis. He’s recovering well according to his Instagram, the plastered wound not dampening his humour. He reminds us all “don’t forget your sunscreen.”

🪪 ID please. Most websites have now introduced some kind of age verification to meet the online security laws in the UK. Most websites. It seems many sites aren’t budging and worse of all for the UK govt, those sites are being rewarded with more visitors!

By Meridyth

I hate drinking lukewarm water. You may dismiss my view as being a silly American, who likes ice in everything. But cold water is lovely and just plain refreshing!

I also hate when water bottles have straws. The tip gets a bit gross with teeth marks or gets damaged. But then I discovered Owala’s Freesip water bottle.

It claims to keep your drink cold for up to 24 hours. It’s not quite out-of-the-fridge cold the next day, but it’s pretty close. And my favourite feature is that you can sip on it, like a straw, or gulp your drink - your choice! (The smaller opening is connected to a hidden wide straw below.)

It comes in various fun (or muted) colours, multiple sizes including a kiddie size for your little ones. My son and I love ours!

By Meridyth

Your initial reaction might be… WTF? Why would anyone do this? And more importantly, why is running barefoot over LEGOs a Guinness World Record?

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But my cynicism turned to light humour, once I learned that the record breaker is a New Zealand mother of two, who has probably been training for awhile at home. 🤪

Whew, you made it!

Hope the 3pm national alert system kept you on your toes yesterday? Good to know who will be saved and who won’t be, like Meridyth (who didn’t get the alert). Don’t worry, everyone gets the AM squabble. 🫡 

Alister & Meridyth