Using umbilical cords as jewellery

ALISTER: The economy's flatlined at 0.1% growth because years of Tory neglect. Finally we have Rachel Reeves being honest about the £25bn black hole rather than papering over cracks like a dodgy landlord. Uncomfortable truth beats comforting lies.​

MERIDYTH: Lies are horrible, but doom-spewing isn’t helping much either. Business confidence has fallen to a 3-year low. Every time she mentions "economic mess," firms pause investment decisions. UK investors have pulled out £26bn in London-based stocks this year!

ALISTER: She's contextualising what the previous lot left us. If a cyber attack on Jaguar Land Rover can cause a fall in the UK’s GDP, just imagine how fragile things really are under the surface. She's right to flag it. Would you rather she pretended the finances were rosy?​

MERIDYTH: Nobody's asking for fantasy economics, but you can’t self-sabotage either. 57% of business leaders fear recession, unemployment has climbed to 5%. She focused too much of her first year on the public sector and took her eyes off the private sector and now we’re here.

ALISTER: You can’t expect everything to happen at once when you inherit a broken economy. Infrastructure reform, skills investment, and Heathrow expansion. Change is happening. Reeves upgraded capital investment forecasts to 3.7% because she's actually planning long-term, not just crossing fingers.​

MERIDYTH: But here's the rub. She's announcing targeted tax rises and spending cuts at exactly the wrong moment for business confidence. I really hope Wednesday’s new Budget plan shares a vision for growth, as opposed to more doom mongering.

A man has successfully used a brain implant to control his iPad just by thinking. It is a massive scientific breakthrough but frankly we are terrified of accidentally sending emails with our intrusive thoughts. Play it safe, by using your actual fingers to share The AM Squabble!

🗳️ Ballot box bribery. Former Reform leader Nathan Gill has been jailed for 10 years for accepting £40k in bribes to spout pro-Russia propaganda. He’s the first politician jailed under the Bribery Act, proving that while speech is free, his was very much for sale.

📺 Auntie's bad influence. Nigel Farage has declared the BBC "rotten to the core" and vowed to abolish the licence fee if Reform UK gains power. He cited "sleaze, hypocrisy, and arrogance" as the reasons to strip the broadcaster of its funding, claiming the corporation is now a byword for bias.

🇨🇳 Beijing's fortress in the city. PM Keir Starmer is poised to approve China's controversial new "super embassy" in London, overriding local rejection. Security services have reportedly given the green light, provided the Chinese don't drill into the vital internet cables running directly underneath.

⚡ Fan-tastic news. A new milestone for green energy as wind turbines provided 43.6% of Britain's power during a blustery November night. The grid operator Neso says we’re on track for periods of 100% zero-carbon electricity soon. Finally, a reason to be cheerful about the miserable British weather.

📉 Grocery bill blues. Inflation has finally dropped to 3.6%, but don’t pop the champagne just yet—food prices are actually rising again. While energy costs eased, bread and chocolate got pricier, so you might need to take out a small loan just to enjoy a cheese sandwich.

GOOD NEWS… for those clamouring for the Epstein files, after Trump officially signed off on its release within 30 days. Will Trump have truly “nothing to hide” or will the DOJ’s redaction pens run out of ink? BAD NEWS… for anxiety levels across Europe, Canada, and Japan, as Ukraine’s allies announced major rework is needed on the US plans for peace, which allows Russia to keep control of current occupied lands amongst other Ukraine concessions.

🇫🇷 Grok in the dock. French prosecutors are investigating Musk’s AI after it denied the Holocaust, claiming Auschwitz gas chambers were merely for "disinfection." It’s a criminal offence in France, and authorities are now adding this "manifestly illicit" content to their existing cybercrime probe into X.

⚰️ The ultimate ghosting. Dick Cheney’s funeral was the hottest ticket in town, unless your name is Trump. The former VP’s service was packed with political royalty, but Trump was notably uninvited to the National Cathedral. Even in death, it seems Cheney managed one last power move, proving that revenge is a dish best served cold... and eternally.

🎶 Murder On The Dancefloor. Russia’s "invincible" hypersonic missiles are being swatted by a song. Ukrainian hackers are replacing satellite signals with "Our Father is Bandera," confusing the weapons into crashing. It seems Putin’s tech can handle Mach 10, but not a catchy folk tune.

🇳🇱 Going Dutch on justice. While Britain’s prisons are bursting at the seams, the Netherlands has closed nearly half of theirs due to a lack of criminals. Dutch judges prefer community service over short jail terms because it actually stops people reoffending. Something to think about…

🥓 Happiness is... bacon. A new study suggests the keto diet could significantly reduce symptoms of depression. Apparently, swapping your morning toast for a slab of fat might fix your brain chemistry, proving that mental health is really just metabolism... minus the joy of pizza.

🦷 Root canals may protect your whole body. A new study finds treating a tooth infection with a root canal can lower blood sugar, improve cholesterol, and reduce inflammation - all of which cut risks for diabetes and heart disease. Dental infections quietly fuel chronic illness. Time to book a dental appt! 📆

🧓 Your happiest decades come later. Research shows emotional balance improves after your 20s, with anxiety, fear, and anger dropping through midlife. By your 60s and 70s, relationships feel richer and life feels more meaningful. It’s proof the best years may still be ahead.

🏙️ Survival of the city-est. Forget the jungle, the real evolution is happening in our backyards. Research shows animals are adapting rapidly to the Anthropocene, reshaping their bodies to cope with our concrete sprawls. It’s unnatural selection at its finest: adapt to the plastic and pollution, or get out of the gene pool.

🧼 Scrubbing his reputation. Diddy has been assigned his first prison job at Fort Dix, and it’s a far cry from the VIP section. The disgraced mogul will reportedly work in the laundry room for 12 cents an hour. From Bad Boy for Life to Tide Pod for Life.

📣 Get a grip. The Cambridge Dictionary has crowned "parasocial" as its Word of the Year 2025, proving we're all a bit too obsessed with people who don't know we exist. Whether it's Taylor Swift or a chatbot, our one-sided love affairs are officially defining the zeitgeist. Maybe try talking to a real human next time?

By Alister

If you happen to make it to London during Christmas lead-up, Miracle at Henrietta is the definition of OTT.

We’re talking kitsch overload and drinks served in Santa’s head. The food is far better than it needs to be, and while your wallet might take a hit, it’s the quickest way to get into the spirit.

I couldn't resist buying the ‘Naughty’ shot glasses. A proper festive treat if you want to be dazzled.

By Alister

Prepare to cringe. This woman decides to ‘help’ her nail tech by grooming her... with her feet.

The glasses adjustment caught me off guard and I nearly gagged. Watch this and weep for that poor worker.

I honestly don't know how she kept cool. 😷

Wicked: For Good (the sequel) has finally landed in cinemas this weekend. Prepare for a week of colleagues humming tunes with high notes they can’t possibly reach. Save your ears and join us next week for another Squabble!

Alister & Meridyth