The Natural History Museum marked the occasion by naming a parasitic wasp after him. Some gifts really do say it all.
Each Monday, Alister and Meridyth deliver quick news and interesting stories from the past week to prepare you for the “water cooler” banter. They’ll also squabble over a current issue.
Alister is your classic Labour champion, while Meridyth (an American expat) brings a transatlantic, moderate view.
ALISTER: I bought my girlfriend a fridge. MERIDYTH: Did she like it? ALISTER: You should have seen her face light up when she opened it! MERIDYTH: 🙄
Gif by cbs on Giphy
ALISTER: Calls for Starmer to step down are nonsense. Three Labour leadership changes in a decade nearly destroyed the party. He's already responding by bringing in Gordon Brown and Harriet Harman as part of a wider reset. You don't detonate your govt over one bad night at the locals.
MERIDYTH: A "bad night"? Labour lost 1,400+ council seats and control of 34 councils, and got obliterated in Wales. That’s a major fail.
ALISTER: Local elections punish govts. Always have. Labour shouldn't spiral into a leadership crisis over mid-term anger. The question isn't who's frustrated today, it's who voters will trust in 2029. Stability matters.
MERIDYTH: Except Reform aren't a protest vote anymore. On latest numbers, Farage is projecting 284 Westminster seats. Trust in Starmer has plummeted and it’s dragging down Labour, practically handing the keys to Reform in 2 years.
ALISTER: A messy battle for Labour control gives Reform exactly what they want. Streeting and Rayner already have the 81 nominations needed to trigger a contest. Swap Starmer out now and the next 6mo are dominated by internal Labour fighting while Farage quietly consolidates.
MERIDYTH: He's defending his position at the dispatch box while Miliband reportedly urged him to plan his resignation 2 weeks before the results came in. When your own cabinet loses confidence, holding on is just stubbornness. 🙄
Samba the capybara is still on the run from Marwell Zoo. The 11-month-old rodent escaped in March and is now leaving suspicious bite marks along the River Itchen, evading capture like a furry Hampshire fugitive. Forward this to a friend who appreciates a giant guinea pig living their best life. 🦫
⛽ Fuel's errand. As war chokes the Strait of Hormuz, the govt is letting airlines cancel flights weeks ahead rather than at the departure gate this summer, without losing valuable airport slots. Airlines are also pushing to avoid paying compensation. Lovely.
🍻 Half measures. A Mayfair bar is now charging £8 for a half pint of beer, as London breaks the £10 pint barrier for the first time. NI hikes and rising costs are squeezing pubs nationally, with the UK average now £4.52. Drinking at home suddenly feels like financial planning.
🏦 War profits, home comforts. The Trades Union Congress is urging a corp tax hike from 3% to 8% after the "Big Four" UK banks bagged £14bn this quarter. While war-fuelled interest rates squeeze homeowners, unions say it’s time to tax these bumper profits and shield struggling households.
👮 Parenting under caution. Nottingham’s "Operation View" is tackling pint-sized chaos, from roof-top missile launches to machetes. Since some teens view arrest as "kudos," police are targeting parents with fines and eviction notices. Essentially, ground your kids or lose your home.
🚂 Back on the public track. GWR, which has run the south-west route since 2006, is being renationalised in December. Ministers say passengers will be put before shareholders. The Transport Secretary has already confirmed fares may not drop.
GOOD NEWS… for MV Hondius passengers, who were finally able to disembark their cruise ship hit by the hantavirus. BAD NEWS… for MV Hondius passengers, who will still have to quarantine for another 45 days!
♻️ Europe's recycling report card. Only 12% of what Europe produces actually gets reused or recycled. A new EU law aims to double that by 2030, and businesses including LEGO are begging Brussels to make it happen.
🔒 Are you 18? The EU wants age checks on VPNs to stop minors bypassing online safety laws, which would require users to hand over their identity before accessing a tool designed to hide it. Their own official age verification app was found storing biometric data unencrypted last month.
🛩️ Rock | Hard place. Canada must choose between US and Swedish flying radar planes worth more than $5 billion to protect its skies. Going Swedish would signal independence from the U.S. It would also make it harder to operate within NORAD, the defence system Canada runs jointly with the U.S.
🕵️ Degree in spycraft. Leaked docs reveal a secret hacker training programme buried inside one of Moscow's top universities. Students build malware and viruses to then graduate directly into Russia's elite hacking units. The degree really does open doors.
💉 Ozempic does it again. A trial found that semaglutide cut heavy drinking significantly in people with alcohol use disorder. Participants also lost 11kg on average. Nobody knows what happens when you stop taking it, but the pint prices might sort that out anyway.
💚 Good news, genuinely. The NHS hit its target of 8,500 extra mental health workers three years early, with £16.1bn in record spending this year and 900,000 more children able to access support in schools. Around 9.4m adults in England have a common mental health condition.
🥦 One in ten. That's it. Only one in ten UK children eats their five a day on a typical school day, so Tesco is doubling its free fruit and veg scheme to over 1,000 schools from September, aiming for a million children by 2029. Teachers report better behaviour too.
🍺 Pre-flight pints, grounded. Ryanair boss Michael O'Leary wants airports banned from serving alcohol at 5am, after disruptive passengers forced almost a diversion a day last year. Fair point, genuinely. Less fair, Ryanair will still happily sell you a warm lager once you're trapped at cruising altitude.
💸 Dot dot dot, dash dash dash. An X user hid a transfer instruction inside a Morse code message, got Grok to decode it, and watched a linked trading bot wire them $200,000 in crypto without question. In hindsight, giving an AI a wallet was perhaps the optimistic part.
🍒 The high cost of going braless. Research suggests ditching the bra boosts perceived attractiveness but invites unfair judgements of "availability." Many women keep the underwire purely to deter creeps. So there you go, freedom with a side of sexism.
By Meridyth
Allergy season is out of control this year! Historically, my allergies act up starting late Feb, but by April, it’s usually over. But not this year… and I’m not alone.
In speaking with other allergy sufferers, this year has hit them harder and longer. All due to climate change apparently. For someone whose allergies are really awful, it’s a nightmare… and I’ve tried everything.
But I finally found something that works - Dymista. It’s an antihistamine and steroid nasal spray, all in one - available over the counter. Obviously, don’t take my word for it. Do talk to a pharmacist, especially because it’s pricey at £20. But it’s been my saviour this season, working in less than 30 min. Good luck!
By Meridyth
And in continuation of our squabble over Starmer and the election…
If you haven’t been following The AM Squabble for the past couple of months, I’ve been cautiously optimistic over the launch of Saturday Night Live in the UK. And I’m happy to announce that it’s been renewed for a second season!!! 🎉
Whew, you made it!
Join us next week after Eurovision returns to Vienna. The UK is sending electronic artist Look Mum No Computer with a song called "Eins, Zwei, Drei" and a 1% chance of winning.
Alister & Meridyth