"Hello, this is Donald Trump."

Sorry, there’s been no squabbling between me and Alister this week.

Alister has been on holiday with his missus, riding around in a hot air balloon and catching the gorgeous sunrise in Morocco. So I’m left to my own devices to produce today’s newsletter.

No eyes rolling. No side eye. My eyes have never felt such relief! 🤣

🩺 NHS wait times could get longer. The General Medical Council has warned that 1 in 5 doctors are thinking of quitting, while 1 in 8 may leave the country. Tired of their poor treatment and pay, doctors believe they’ll fare better abroad. This definitely puts a damper on Starmer’s plans to reduce NHS wait times.

🎓 Potential ban on foreign students, if universities don’t stop foreigners from using their admissions as a ‘back door’ to claiming asylum. Unis are now required to show that 95% of their accepted int’l students have actually started their studies and 90% have finished them. If these minimums aren’t met, unis may be barred from future foreign enrollment.

🚾 Stricter bathroom rules. Earlier the UK Supreme Court defined a ‘woman’ by biological sex. Now the Equality & Human Rights Commission is submitting a statutory guidance banning transwomen from single sex spaces (e.g. bathrooms) at schools, hospitals, leisure centres, and cinemas. It also means that transgender athletes can be excluded from single-sex sports, since changing rooms are considered single sex spaces.

🔫 Tag, your it! To deter football hooliganism, police in Chester have started using invisible tagging sprays to mark culprits. The uniquely coded DNA solution is only visible under UV light on clothes and skin, and lasts for months. It’s also being used in shops to deter theft. Can we please bring the spray to London?

🔐 Locked means “We’re Open.” Over the past 10 years, shoplifting has increased by 51%, with robberies and knife crimes up 64% and 89% respectively. So it’s no wonder that Vodafone has locked its shop doors in some branches across the country. Customers now queue outside to be let in. Let’s see if more shops follow suit.

Good news… for a lost hiker in a Norwegian park, who was finally found… alive! Bad news… for over 90 countries, as Trump’s tariffs went into effect last Friday with both India and Brazil still in the hot seat for its Russian oil dealings and its steadfast conviction of former president Jair Bolsonaro, respectively.

🚔 Whatcha gonna do when Superman comes for you? In support of Trump’s deportation and immigration raids, Dean Cain (former ‘90s TV show Superman) will become an ICE agent. This is not my idea of a superhero feat! 😫

🇲🇽 You’re not welcome. Mexico’s president, Claudia Sheinbaum, has said the U.S. military is not welcome in her country, after Trump’s recent Pentagon directive to use military force to target drug cartels. Earlier in the year, the administration declared five cartels in Mexico as foreign terrorist organisations.

🇰🇵 Too good to be true. Remote-working jobs are coveted these days. But not ones that turn out to be secret North Korean scams to aid its nuclear weapons programme. One American woman was sentenced to 8yrs in jail with a hefty fine for helping to fake over 90 identities and secure $17m in “salaries” for the North Korean govt.

💉 Tired of pricks? Soon, you may not need daily injections of Wegovy or Ozempic to lose weight. Eli Lilly just announced that their daily obesity pill could help people lose 12% of body weight. Orforglipron could be available next year. Let’s just hope they pick a new name for it… orfor-what?

💉 Be mindful of the prick. On that note, there’s a new concern that those weight-loss injections could cause thyroid cancer. While a French study confirmed a potential link for humans, there isn’t enough human evidence to prove it just yet. But, thyroid tumors have been found in rodents, after being given high doses. 😬

🏋️‍♂️ Speaking of Superman… in a good way, there’s an exercise called “The Superman” that helps your posture and improves back strength, both vital to building a strong core. Its simple isometric movement has you lying face down, lifting your torso and limbs off the floor. Don’t be lazy and just do it. 💪

🦜 Watch what you say. The squawking of a parrot owned by a Lancashire drug dealer helped bring down a 15-member drug ring. In a video found on a seized phone, a parrot is seen repeating “two for 25” (a drug deal reference), which is being used as evidence to charge the ring.

📍 I see you! What your Instagram followers might say when least expecting it. A new feature lets followers (of your choosing) see your location. Cue safety concerns. It’s slowly starting to roll out to all. So if you don’t see it yet (like me), keep checking. It’ll be in your DMs section and you’ll be able to choose how to enable it… or not.

🇵🇰 Speaking of lost travellers… The body of a man missing for 28 years was found in a melting glacier in a remote area of Pakistan, amazingly well-preserved. The father of two had fallen into a glacier crack where the extreme cold quickly froze his body. Hopefully, the family now has some closure.

By Meridyth

Back in NYC, I was perfectly happy with street cart coffee. Since moving to London, I’ve suddenly become a coffee snob, only drinking Oat Flat Whites. (What’s happened to me?!?!?)

But I grew tired of spending £3.00-£4.50 everyday at coffee shops, who make mediocre lattes disguised as flat whites. So my dear friends (and Squabble readers), Karl & Lea, introduced me to the Sage Barista Express, a bean-to-cup espresso machine with built-in milk frother.

The £650 price tag seems hefty. But I bought mine used off Ebay for £350. And it’s a game changer. Perfect barista coffees that have received a number of compliments, and for my “babycinos” (foamed milk with cocoa powder) from my son.

I’ve had the machine for 4 years now. So factoring in the cost of coffee beans and oat milk, my flat whites are only £1.15 per cup. 🤑 Well worth it!!!

By Meridyth

No one can resist videos of cute baby animals. And this one of a baby pygmy hippo made me laugh, mostly because the relationship with his mum is very much like my little one and me.

The zoo keeper attempts to get baby Mars out of the water, who is very reluctant and eventually runs back to the water. But one stern look from his mother, Mars quickly hops out and follows her inside. See, that’s how it’s done… 😅

@tanganyikawildlifepark

Better listen to mom! #babyhippo #hippobaby #marsthehippo

On a side note, I’ve recently learned that my parenting approach, where I follow-through on consequences of misbehaving (not just threats), is similar to a trending and viral style of parenting called, FAFO, meaning F*** Around and Find Out.

Who knew I was so trendy?!?! 🤣

Whew, you made it!

Alister returns this week. May the eye rolling commence… 🙄 Even though I’m headed to Trump country to visit my parents, we’ll still return next week with our regularly scheduled programming!

Just Meridyth this time