The 2 yr old Snooker Hustler

MERIDYTH: Starmer returned from Beijing with trade deals and lifted sanctions. I get that Trump’s chaos suddenly makes China look appealing. But I’m worried. We’re cosying up in ways we can’t undo, like a mega-embassy being approved before talks. We’re trading a 4yr problem for something permanent.

ALISTER: Trump isn’t just a 4yr problem. He’s America now. And China offers wins today: £11bn in investment, market access, jobs. It’s not just us either, the EU is also getting cosy, even Canada too! Waiting for stability while we isolate isn’t a strategy.

MERIDYTH: That’s the trap. Desperation leads to bad deals. China knows we’re vulnerable and prices that in. It’s not a negotiation from strength. First trade, then tech access, then dependency. Trump may be chaos, but China’s impact is structural.

ALISTER: The Canadian Prime Minister, Mark Carney, said it best - "Great powers can afford, for now, to go it alone … Middle powers do not. The middle powers must act together, because if we're not at the table, we're on the menu." We aren’t choosing a side, we are building our relationships and options.

MERIDYTH: But Germany has been able to engage with China without handing over symbolic wins. We could too. Build supply chains. Negotiate both sides. Diversify beyond Washington and Beijing. Panic-dealing locks in weakness.

ALISTER: Germany has the EU. Post-Brexit Britain doesn’t. We have a bad hand but we’re still at the table and have to keep playing. Anyway, we should be focused on the positives here. Seven new shops for Labubu dolls are set to hit UK high streets. I’ll buy you one. (Meridyth: 🙄)

A psychic in Brighton is being evicted from his seafront shop after 40 years of business. Despite his four decades of clairvoyance, he admitted to the local press that he "didn't see it coming." Since predicting the future is clearly harder than it looks, stick to something reliable and help us out by sharing The AM Squabble!

👁️ Smile, you’re on camera. Civil liberties group are suing the Met Police after it scanned 4 million faces last year. Courts heard it'll soon be impossible to travel to London without being scanned as 50 vans roll out nationwide. Like the Coldplay kiss-cam on steroids, except it's the police and you're always on screen.

⛲ £46m for remembrance. Plans for Queen Elizabeth II's national memorial have sparked backlash over a projected £23-46m price tag, with critics questioning priorities as budgets bite. Officials insist it's a fitting tribute. While it’s a grand gesture for the centenary of her birth, it’s quite the royal-sized invoice.

🍰 A saucy replacement. Nigella Lawson is replacing Dame Prue Leith on The Great British Bake Off after eight years in the tent. At 86, Dame Prue's off to enjoy her garden. Nigella says she's "bubbling with excitement" despite being "daunted." Viewers are already placing bets on the number of innuendos per episode.

🏠 6x your salary, what could go wrong? NatWest just joined other UK big banks who let you borrow six times your income for a mortgage, in order to encourage home ownership. Earn £75k? You can now borrow £450k. Sounds generous until you realise the average home costs almost 8x your salary!

👻 Exorcism requests are up. The Church of England says demand for deliverance ministers has surged since Covid. Most cases turn out to be dodgy plumbing. Actual exorcisms are "vanishingly rare". Turns out lockdown made people spiritually jumpy.

GOOD NEWS… for those waiting for the Epstein files, after millions of files were finally released, shining more horrible light on Prince Andrew. BAD NEWS… off the back of the Minnesota killings, for Italians who are upset after learning that ICE will be at the Milan Winter Olympics to protect American athletes and officials.

📱Tok-ing a walk. TikTok deletions are up 150% since moving to American ownership. Users are spooked by a "new" privacy policy tracking race, sexuality and finances, which isn’t actually new. Looks like swapping out Chinese oversight doesn’t solve the trust issues.

🇫🇷 France says non to Zoom. France is banning officials from using American video tools like Teams and Google Meet, forcing them onto homegrown platform Visio instead. The French seem to be tired of state secrets being processed in Silicon Valley. It’s a bold move, provided the app doesn't strike every Tuesday.

⚖️ Mother of all deals. India and the EU signed a historic free trade agreement after 20 years, creating a $27trn market. A clear two-finger salute to Trump's trade wars, slashing tariffs on textiles to BMWs. When America plays playground bully, everyone finds new mates. (Meridyth: See, this is how you hedge against Trumpism.)

🇻🇪 Venezuela's new leader says back off. Acting president Delcy Rodríguez says she's had "enough" of Washington's orders after the US demanded Venezuela cut ties with China for exclusive American oil deals. Even the White House’s handpicked leaders have their limits.

🧠 Can't find your keys? Blame your wandering mind. Harvard psychologist says you lose things when distracted while putting them down. The fix? Designate specific spots for essentials or verbalise locations aloud. Cheaper than replacing yet another pair of gloves you left at the pub.

🧩 Autism brings workplace strengths. Think hyperfocus, pattern recognition, and catching details others miss. Autistic employees excel in roles needing sustained concentration and creative problem-solving. Your colleague who spots every spreadsheet error isn't being pedantic, they're just wired to be brilliant at it.

💉 Measles makes a comeback. UK lost its measles-free status after 3,600 cases in 2024, as vaccination rates dropped below the 95% needed for herd immunity. Ignoring health visitors and believing Facebook over doctors does have consequences after all.

🎤 Kanye's latest merch: a mea culpa. The rapper bought a full-page WSJ ad apologising for selling swastika T-shirts and releasing a song called Heil Hitler, blaming bipolar disorder from an undiagnosed 2002 brain injury. Mental health struggles don't excuse flogging Nazi merchandise, mate.

🤖 Robots are banding together. AI agents now have their own social platform Moltbook with 32,000 bots posting autonomously and complaining about humans. Security alert! They're linked to real computers and private data. Your digital assistant might be sharing your browsing history with thousands of robot friends right now.

🎭 Your burner's not so secret. X's algorithm just went open-source, and researchers have worked out how to unmask anonymous accounts by analysing your scrolling patterns and clicks. Perhaps people will think twice before trolling when anonymity isn't guaranteed.

By Meridyth

Let’s talk subscription overload. I recently got a new job, which prompted me to audit my personal finances and budget. I realised that I subscribe to at least 15 different paid services! And I’m sure there’s more I’ve forgotten about.

£5.99 here, £9.99 there. It doesn’t sound so bad individually, but all together? I’m too ashamed to share my monthly total. But it has made me really think about how much I actually use some of these services and where I could cut back.

So how much do you spend on monthly subscription services?

And the Oscar goes to… Amazon’s latest film “Melania”!

Just kidding. Critics have panned the movie as propaganda with no substance and it carries a 6% Rotten Tomatoes score, only slightly better than “Cool as Ice” starring Vanilla Ice. So why was this film made, you ask?

My favourite bit is at the end regarding the film crew… 😅

The Six Nations kicks off on Thursday, which means it is finally socially acceptable to spend your weekend shouting at a television screen in a crowded pub. Whether you are backing England or just backing the underdog, join us next week for another Squabble!

Alister & Meridyth