Stop calling it Soccer ⚽️

Alister: Jeremy Corbyn is back with a new party promising politics driven by locals and trade unions, not Westminster elites. "Your Party" (yes, that’s the name) just hit 50,000 members in two months!

Meridyth: 50,000 members doesn't mean they're doing anything right. They can't even pick a name without mucking it up, and their "democratic leadership" is just code for "nobody wants to be in charge of this chaos."

Alister: It’s democracy at work! They voted 51.6% for collective leadership over a single leader. The people spoke! That's genuinely novel compared to your typical power-hungry ego fest.

Meridyth: Novel is one word for it. Disastrous is another. 51% to elect... let me check my notes here... no one? A higher percentage voted for Brexit! Plus, isn’t there something dodgy going on with the co-founder, Sultana, refusing to release £800,000 of funding?

Alister: Okay, the cash argument is a bad look. Your Party feels a little too optimistic and not quite grounded in battle-tested politics. My real worry is that if they gain traction, they’ll just splinter the left vote even further.

Meridyth: I'm not worried, I'm embarrassed for them. Corbyn wouldn't even call Sultana a friend! That's not a party, that's a very expensive therapy session. At least the Lib Dems pretend to like each other.

A reindeer named Buddy escaped a festive event in Formby this week, leading police, the Coastguard, and the Royal Marines on a huge chase across the sand dunes. They eventually found him using thermal binoculars and he is now home safe behind a higher fence. Christmas is officially saved, so celebrate by sharing The AM Squabble!

👁️ Big Brother is watching. The Home Office wants to roll out facial recognition across the UK, calling it a "breakthrough" for policing. Critics say we are hurtling towards an authoritarian surveillance state, especially as the tech is notoriously bad at identifying minorities.

🎓 Defence boom. BAE Systems, UK’s biggest defence firm, now has a record 6,800 apprentices and graduates on its books. With applications open for 2026, it seems the business of national security is booming, offering Gen Z a chance to work on next-gen fighter jets and subs.

👶 Toddler scroll trap. A shocking report finds over 800,000 UK children aged 3-5 are using social media regularly. These literacy-challenged users are being fed algorithms designed to hook adults, proving that while they can't read a book, they can definitely read the feed.

👋 London's youth exodus. A new poll reveals 54% of young Londoners are considering packing their bags due to the crushing cost of living. With rent and taxes soaring, the capital is quickly becoming a playground for the rich while the rest are priced out to the commuter belt.

🔪 Saucy Jack revealed? After 137 years of mystery, a researcher claims DNA tests have finally unmasked Jack the Ripper as Aaron Kosminski, a Polish barber who died in an asylum. While "Ripperologists" are celebrating, sceptics warn the DNA evidence is "weak" and might just prove that Victorian London was a bit messy.

GOOD NEWS… for grabbing a quick ‘stein’ of beer, after Eurostar and Deutsche Bahn signed a deal to launch direct high speed links between the UK and Germany. BAD NEWS… for Ghislaine Maxwell who believes unsealing more Epstein documents would unfairly harm her chances of a fair retrial.

🤕 Silence of the bans. A new Trump policy could see H-1B (foreign worker) visas rejected for applicants who have engaged in "censorship" activities, including combating disinformation. Critics warn this conflates safety work with suppression, effectively punishing tech workers for trying to keep the internet from becoming a total dumpster fire.

🎤 Nil points for unity. Eurovision 2026 is imploding as four nations boycott the show over Israel's inclusion. The BBC claims to support the EBU for the sake of "inclusivity." However, some nations argue that platforming a country involved in a major war kills the vibe. The only thing getting amplified this year is geopolitical tension.

🇪🇺 Energy independence secured. Von der Leyen has declared a "historic" agreement to cut off Russian gas permanently. It’s a massive strategic win for Europe and Ukraine, signalling the end of an era of dependency and hopefully a more resilient future for us all.

🧠 Zoning out saves lives. It turns out neurodiverse kids aren't ignoring you, they're just turning their brains inward to survive the noise. Research shows shifting focus internally is a clever way to regulate overwhelming stimuli, so cut them some slack.

💔 Romance vs. Rugrats. Research suggests that parents report significantly lower passion than child-free couples. While the love for the kids grows, the romance often takes a nap... indefinitely. Maybe date nights need a comeback?

🤖 False confidence trap. Relying on AI for research might feel efficient, but it actually leads to shallower learning. While AI users felt smarter, they retained less information than those who did the legwork with a standard web search.

🐾 Ozempets are coming. Scientists are testing GLP-1 weight-loss implants on obese cats (dogs next), promising six months of effortless slimming. Critics fear we’re medicating pets to fit human aesthetics, while vets say it could save thousands from diabetes.

🎨 Happy little millions. John Oliver has raised $1.5m for public broadcasting by auctioning off random tat from his show, including a Bob Ross painting that fetched over $1m! It’s a win for the arts, proving that "happy little accidents" can actually fix massive US govt funding cuts. (Meridyth: Love him!!!)

🐱 Men need training. Research suggests cats meow more at men because they are typically worse listeners than women. Felines have learned they need to "turn up the volume" to get male attention, proving they are actively training us to be better staff.

By Alister

For coffee lovers, if you’re looking for a new bean to grind, I can’t rave enough about Tall Order Coffee.

I’ve been using their "Mourne" blend in my espresso machine and the result is incredible. It has rich notes of brown sugar and sweet chocolate, but it’s the texture that stands out. It’s creamy and dense with absolutely zero smokiness or bitterness.

It is honestly the best part of my morning right now!

By Alister

If you saw a sea of tweed and monocles in London, don't panic! It was the Grand Flaneur Winter Walk 2025.

A celebration of strolling without purpose while looking absolutely splendid.

I suddenly feel very underdressed.

Forecasters are predicting a "major Arctic blast" and potential snow for the UK by the middle of next week. Dig out the big coat and join us next week for another Squabble!

Alister & Meridyth