MERIDYTH: So, what’s up with the UK doing nothing while the EU takes a stand against Trump's steel and aluminium tariffs? The EU intends to retaliate, while Starmer wants to take a considered approach and hopes a deal will be struck. “Hope” being the operative word.

Alister: Oh, come on. Instant, knee jerk retaliation isn’t always the answer. The government’s made it clear; this is about protecting our national interest. We don’t want to jump into a trade war for the sake of solidarity.

MERIDYTH: National interest? Without swift countermeasures, the UK may face an immediate negative impact. Even UK Steel agrees that it’ll be a “devastating blow.” With the UK’s economy already in a precarious situation, the country can’t afford to sit on their laurels.

Alister: So we should start throwing tit-for-tat tariffs? Endless escalation won’t help. The US is our second-largest export market for steel. We want to walk these tariffs back, not create more.

MERIDYTH: And by not standing with the EU, who is the UK’s No 1 largest steel export market btw, do you think we’re doing ourselves any favours there?

Alister: I’d prefer if the UK and EU were a united front, but we just aren’t. We have created some plans to find alternative solutions. We simply need to solve this without spiralling into a trade war. Sometimes showing restraint is strength.

MERIDYTH: It’s weakness. Just take a turn from ‘Love Actually’ and like Hugh Grant, “be much stronger!” (Ironic, since I’m the American in this squabble.)

🇬🇧 No squabble required

🤖 No AI agreement. Paris saw countries and tech firms come together and agree on AI safeguards. Only two countries didn’t sign - the US and UK - for completely different reasons. The US thinks it’s too much regulation, while the UK says its governance is not clear and robust enough to tackle potential cyber hacking and national security issues.

🍺 570yr old pub set to close. Another victim to rising costs and taxes bites the dust. One of the oldest pubs in the UK is planning to shut in Canterbury. Want to put this into context? This pub was around when Henry VI was in power!

🪖 Emergency EU meeting. Today, key EU (and UK) leaders will meet to discuss the situation in Ukraine and America’s meeting with Russia. The US has made it clear that European leaders won’t be invited to the talks. (Meridyth: Seriously, how can the UK not stand up to the US?)

🦫 Bringing back beavers. The gov’t is considering reintroducing beavers to the country to help manage flood risk. Beavers were hunted to extinction 400 years ago, but a trial to bring them back in Scotland has been a success so far!

🌎️ The rest of the world… according to us

🦫 Speaking of beavers… The Czech Republic was set to spend £1m on a dam to protect a former army site from flooding. But to their surprise, beavers had accomplished the task at no cost and with locally sourced materials!

🇩🇪 Munich attack. A Mini Cooper drove into a rally in Munich last week. Over 30 people have been injured, while a mother and her 2yo daughter have died from their injuries. The suspect is an Afghan asylum seeker, which has caused fear with other asylum seekers about their status and retaliation from right-wing extremists.

🍞 Playing with fire, or rather buns. A woman in Japan was arrested for criminal damage. What damage? A store claimed that she pressed down on a pack of buns damaging the £0.95 pastries, for which she was jailed. That was way harsh, Tai.

💣️ You’re fired! Just kidding. Thousands of US gov’t employees were fired to “save costs” only to realise that some of those people look after the country’s nuclear weapons. Oops. Cue scrambling to get them back!

🍎 Part of your ‘5 A Day’

⚽️ Steroids, not worth the risk? With rumours that steroids cause shrinkage for half the population, the risks don’t just end there. One body builder has learned the hard way that it can cause heart failure at 30. But it’s not stopping him from using nor Trump Jr, who’s invested in the Enhanced Games - think Olympics on drugs.

💉 Not just for weight loss. A study has found that weight-loss drugs like Ozempic can also reduce cravings for alcohol and cigarettes. Food, booze, and fags - that’s one way to do away with all your vices.

🩸 You can’t will HIV away. A Labour MP has announced he’s HIV positive. He’s now encouraging people to get tested. In a recent poll, 25% of heterosexual men who aren’t testing believe they’re incapable of contracting the virus.

🧦 The odd sock

🗑️ Losing £620m. A computer engineer’s ex threw away a hard drive containing 8,000 bitcoins. (No wonder she’s an ex.) After multiple rejections by the city to search the nearby landfill, he’s now trying to buy the site. With no guarantee that he’ll find it, he’s hopeful he’ll be able to sift through 1.4million tonnes of rubbish! 🤢

🎵 A Disappointing Valentine’s Day. Thousands joined a virtual queue hoping for Black Sabbath, Kendrick Lamar and Beyonce tour tickets that went on sale last Friday… only to be left wanting when all tix sold out within moments! Fans claimed it was harder than getting Oasis tix. 😬

⭐️ Recommendations

from Alister

Do you love kittens, board games, two player games, and in-depth tactical superiority? You’re in luck, turns out there is a game just for you. Boop!

Each player takes turns placing kittens on a small quilted sheet, which will then “boop” the other kittens away. Line up three kittens in a row? They turn into cats. Line up three cats, and you win! (Meridyth: Really??? Sounds like a game my 8yo would create.)

It’s very easy, very fun, and gets you thinking in unusual ways. You’ll be strategising and scratching your head, figuring out how to boop all the cats and kittens around (or off) the quilt!

🤣 What do you meme? 

Republican Makeup

Why am I a grown man, who doesn’t wear cosmetics, discussing a makeup trend? Because it’s funny and makes me feel better about myself, that’s why.

Have you ever noticed whenever you see anything about MAGA or far-right interviews (not just in America), women’s makeup styles seem familiar? Turns out there is an art to it that indicates your political preferences. 🤣

@itssuzannelambert

Dont miss the surprise at the end! Let me know how i did 🤩🤩

The gist is to apply it in as rushed and exaggerated way as possible. Can’t wait to try out this tone-aggressive, cakey, and blotchy look for myself - maybe for Halloween.

Whew, you made it!

And may you never get swallowed by a whale, like this man in Chile. Oh the trauma! Don’t worry, if you do, reading next week’s Squabble should sort you out.

Alister & Meridyth