ICE has a Burn Book

By Meridyth

Of all the weeks, Alister had to go off and celebrate his dad’s milestone birthday this weekend. (What a selfish jerk! 🙃) He’s left me all alone to cover two major stories that took over the headlines last week.

The first is another birthday that involved being fingerprinted, DNA-swabbed, and photographed slouched in the back of a police car. Yup, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor was arrested on suspicion of misconduct in public office.

MPs are now debating whether to remove him from the line of succession, where he’s 8th. That means seven catastrophes would need to happen for Andrew to become king, but apparently it’s still one too many for comfort. Me? I’d rather the govt focus on the 5.2% unemployment rate, the highest in 5 years!

The other headline? The U.S. Supreme Court looked at Trump’s signature economic policy (the one where he played Oprah telling countries, “you get a tariff” and “you get a tariff”…) and told him ‘the computer says no’. Trump can’t use the emergency powers act to issue tariffs.

There’s now talk about refunding the $130bn in tariff revenue, which will be a hot mess to sort out. Meanwhile, Trump said screw you to the court and announced a 15% global tariff using a different law that keeps it valid for only 150 days. An extension would require Congressional approval.

BUT… Legal experts say Trump could theoretically let it expire, declare another balance-of-payments emergency, and restart the clock. Again. And again. There’s no escaping Trump’s Tariffs, it seems. 😮‍💨

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman and Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei refused to hold hands during a group photo with the Indian PM at the India AI Impact Summit, symbolising the clash between the two AI giants. Don’t be like them. Extend your hand and share The AM Squabble!

📱 Tech giants on notice. The UK just told every tech company on earth, they’ve got 48 hours to take down abusive images or the govt is going to pull their plug and fine them into oblivion. Keir Starmer has apparently found his password.

👩‍⚖️ NHS faces massive bill. A little girl who couldn't walk, talk, or see, because the NHS failed her at birth, just changed the law. Courts declared the trust will now have to compensate children for the full life they should have had, which could cost £60bn.

🗳️ Musk stirs the pot. Elon Musk is officially wading deeper into UK politics by endorsing Rupert Lowe and his new Restore Britain party. The hardline splinter group promises strict deportations and religious slaughter bans, setting up a brutal populist battle against Reform UK.

🦠 Return of the rash. The UK is battling a totally preventable disease resurgence after losing its measles elimination status. Following a severe London outbreak, the Prime Minister is begging parents to ignore online conspiracy theories and protect their children with routine vaccines.

💷 Bulletproofing British banks. The UK is rapidly building a massive national payments network to rival Visa and Mastercard. City bosses fear an increasingly erratic Trump could simply unplug the British economy overnight forcing a drastic financial redesign.

GOOD NEWS… for girl power in India, where a football programme called Football for Freedom is giving girls in a rural village a rare path to independence, away from forced marriages. BAD NEWS… potentially for those with a diagonal crease in their ear lobes, which has been linked to higher cardiovascular mortality risk. No need to panic, but it could be worth mentioning to your GP. (I have the crease in both ears! Eek. 😱)

🚫 No base, no deal. Starmer said no to America using UK military bases to potentially strike Iran's nuclear programme. Trump responded by publicly attacking the Chagos Islands deal, basically throwing his toys out of the pram.

🏛️ Zuckerberg takes the stand. The Meta boss testified in a landmark trial over whether Instagram is addictive to kids. Internal docs showed Meta actively pursued teens. His defence? The docs were mischaracterised. Seriously? 🙄😱

📡 Starlink blackout bites. Ukraine just secured its fastest battlefield advance in over two years. Analysts credit the monumental 201 square kilometre breakthrough to Russian frontline troops suddenly losing access to vital Starlink satellite internet.

🌍 Middle powers strike back. Canadian PM Mark Carney is brilliantly rallying the EU and Pacific allies to forge a massive new global trade alliance. Linking supply chains across 40 nations means they could potentially bypass Trump and his tantrums.

🎬 And that’s a wrap! The Winter Olympics finished up in Verona, a city where zero events happened. But the closing ceremony was held in a 2,000-year-old Roman amphitheatre (older than the Colosseum) where $23 million was spent re-purposing the site to include modern toilets, and rebranding the UNESCO World Heritage Site.

🏅 Team GB hits their goal. In its most successful Winter Olympics to date, Britain snagged five medals in Milano Cortina, three of which were gold. The secret to British winter success isn't "practice." It seems to be just sliding down hills face-first at 80 mph.

🐺 Best performance of the day? A Czechoslovakian wolfdog named Nazghul escaped his owner's grasp, crashed the women’s cross-country skiing qualifiers, and crossed the finish line to a standing ovation. Unbothered. Undefeated. 😅

🧥 Ultimate gig economy hustle. French figure skating coach Benoit Richaud is pulling the ultimate freelance hustle by training sixteen different athletes from thirteen rival nations. Watching him frantically swap team jackets rinkside is an Olympic sport itself.

🥈 Age defying speed demon. Arianna Fontana is officially Italy's greatest Olympian after claiming a staggering fourteenth career medal at the Milan Games. Dominating short track speed skating for twenty years is an utterly amazing athletic feat.

By Meridyth

I’m sure the last thing you’re thinking about with the winter we’ve had is staying cool. But given the extreme winter, we’re bound to experience some extreme heatwaves this summer.

Why am I bringing this up in February? Because now is the best time to buy cooling appliances and portable air conditioners. This is the Meaco a/c unit I have, which I bought this time last year… and saved 30%. 😮

Buying off-season means you’ll also have a better selection, since stocks sell out fast during summer heatwaves. So I know it might be the last thing on your mind, but I promise you’ll thank me for it.

By Meridyth

If you’re new to The AM Squabble, we’re not big fans of Trump around here… and neither are these USA supporters at the Olympics with multiple t-shirts. ❤️

If you’re a Trump supporter, thank you for sticking around and being willing to consider other people’s perspectives!

How did you think Meridyth did on her own? Hated it? Well, no worries. Alister is back next week for another eye-rolling Squabble.

Alister & Meridyth