How Feng Shui caused car crashes

ALISTER: So the TV licence jumps to £180 in April, again “in line with inflation”. At this point I’m paying more for EastEnders than my broadband.

MERIDYTH: You chose to defend this dinosaur. Even the culture secretary called the licence “unenforceable.” If the government’s consulting on new models, maybe stop flogging things older than VHS.

ALISTER: I’m not anti‑BBC, I just want to know why 80% of households must cough up when one in eight users are dodging it and costing the rest of us £1.1bn. Maybe fix evasion before raiding my direct debit.

MERIDYTH: And loads of over‑75s on pension credit still aren’t claiming free licences. So granny’s overpaying, streamers are underpaying, and you’re subsidising both while watching Netflix.

ALISTER: It still funds news, radio, kids’ stuff, and even Welsh‑language telly. It’s a public service! I just don’t get why watching any live broadcast magically rings up a BBC tab.

MERIDYTH: Exactly! Tying the fee to “live TV on any channel” in 2026 is like charging road tax every time you walk past a Prius. Keep the BBC, but pay with a subscription, tiered fees, ads, something that isn’t “yet another fiver”.

A manufacturing error has turned thousands of festive plushies for the Year of the Horse into "Crying Horses" because their mouths were accidentally stitched on upside down. Help turn those frowns the right way up by sharing The AM Squabble!

🏨 Room service refused. Epstein wanted to buy a luxury London hotel to convert into a private residence for his 'guests'. Luckily the deal failed, sparing Londoners from having a literal house of horrors right on their doorstep.

🤐 Loose lips sink ships. Gordon Brown is fuming that Mandelson allegedly slipped Epstein early warnings about EU bailouts and economy stats. While police raid homes, Brown insists Starmer is the right chap to fix the system, even if he was a bit slow on the uptake this time.

🤳 Do it for the gram. A group of fly-tippers were fined nearly £2,000 after they uploaded footage of their own crime to social media. The men dumped baby equipment at 2am, proving that while you can get rid of waste, you can't get rid of a desperate need for attention.

🔋 The juice is loose. GWR has finally launched the UK's first rapid charging train in West London. It recharges in under four minutes while passengers scramble for a seat. It is a proper win for the planet even if the signals still fail every time it rains.

GOOD NEWS… for expressing yourself after a Team GB star urinated the words "F**K ICE" into the snow at the Winter Olympics. BAD NEWS… for nuclear fallout after the expiration of the New START treaty, the US and Russia are no longer required to let each other peek at their missile silos. Experts warn this "nuclear blind spot" could trigger a fresh arms race.

🍁 The Maple Leaf Union. As America turns inward, a new Policy Magazine piece argues Canada should join the EU as a liberal counterweight. Since Canada already shares European values, social systems, and even a tiny land border (thanks, Hans Island), swapping poutine for Brussels sprouts might be the next logical step.

⚖️ Digital Wild West. Spain's PM Pedro Sánchez has announced plans to ban social media for under-16s and hold tech executives criminally liable for illegal content. Elon Musk responded with a poop emoji and called Sánchez a "tyrant", proving that high-level international diplomacy is alive and well.

🚪 Get a grip. China is banning hidden door handles on all new cars from 2027 after too many passengers were trapped in burning wrecks. Elon Musk might love the sleek look but Beijing prefers people actually being able to escape. It is back to basics for the future of transport.

🍔 Just one more bite. Researchers say ultra-processed foods like crisps and donuts are addictive by design and should be regulated like cigarettes. Apparently, 'once you pop, you can't stop' wasn't just a catchy slogan, but a literal biological warning label we all ignored.

💰 Rich brain, poor brain. A new study from South Korea reveals that wealthy men have higher brain activity in areas controlling reward and stress. It seems money doesn't just buy happiness; it buys a hyper-efficient brain that processes stress better than the rest of us, who are just stressing about money.

😴 Sleep binary debunked. Researchers have scrapped the simple early bird myth, identifying 16 distinct sleep patterns instead. It is proof that the standard working day is a nightmare for most people. Bosses really need to wake up and smell the coffee.

👨‍🦲 Bold claims for hair. Campaigner Glenn Kinsey wants baldness recognised as a disability to force the NHS to fund high end wigs. It is a hair raising legal argument that might leave the government scratching its head while the rest of us just buy a flat cap.

📨 You've got jail. A cyber-vigilante has exposed a treasure trove of dirt after cracking Epstein's email password. It appears the financier didn't use two-factor authentication, meaning the only thing easier than getting into his social circle was getting into his inbox.

🦴 Small wonder. A 12,000-year-old teenager found in Italy has been diagnosed with a rare form of dwarfism. Her careful burial proves her tribe valued her deeply, suggesting Stone Age society was significantly more inclusive than a modern dating app filter.

🤖 Claude’s conscience. Anthropic is locked in a standoff with the Pentagon over a £155m deal because it won’t let its AI assist with autonomous killing. The generals want full access but the firm is standing firm on its safety rules. It is a battle of ethics versus national security.

By Alister

My absolute favourite author of all time is Sir Terry Pratchett.

I’m incredibly sad to learn his mind struggled long before the world knew. A study suggests clues to his dementia were hidden in his prose years before diagnosis.

Reading back through them is like watching a slow sunset on a genius. He was a hero for the working man, skewering the elite with a wit even 'the embuggerance' could not dim.

Having lost a family member to dementia, it’s painful to enjoy the stories knowing the toll it takes, but I will continue cherishing every word. If you haven’t read his Discworld series yet you deserve to treat yourself to his incredible talent.

By Alister

Poor old Craig David. He really thought he was the messiah of the marina this week after finding a stranded fish.

He gave it a motivational pep talk and chucked it back into the deep blue. Instead of a triumphant swim the poor thing just bobbed there like a soggy biscuit before being immediately scoffed by a predator.

Craig’s aquatic calamity shows why some celebs should stick to the garage beats and stay well away from wildlife rescue. Absolute shocker.

Police in the UK are currently searching for a group of thieves who managed to steal a statue of a world champion boxer using nothing but a three-wheeled bike. Join us next week for another Squabble, and hopefully we will have found a slightly more efficient way to get around!

Alister & Meridyth