ALISTER: Did you see the Conservative MP, Tom Tugendhat, tearing strips off Labour MPs for using ChatGPT in their speeches? There were so many ‘Americanisms’ like "I rise to speak" everywhere. It’s even become a Westminster drinking game!

MERIDYTH: Are pigs flying? Are you siding with a Conservative? Yes, it was a pretty stupid move. First rule of AI, always sense and fact check. But does it really matter? Govt coders are already saving 28 days a year with AI. So why not MPs? After sense checking, that is…

ALISTER: Because they're elected to represent constituents' views, not whatever ChatGPT spits out! One MP was literally spotted copying constituent emails straight into ChatGPT on a train. What about data privacy? What about oversight? These are people's personal concerns.

MERIDYTH: The volume of constituent feedback is immense. So why not use AI to read and summarise? It gives MPs more time to act and help the community. MP Mike Reader defended his AI approach, saying he uses closed systems with proper safeguards and human oversight. It's about efficiency, not replacement.

ALISTER: But it IS replacement! MPs' language has shifted since ChatGPT launched. The use of "underscores" and "streamlining" is rampant. How do we know they're not just parroting AI responses without proper fact-checking or constituent consideration?

MERIDYTH: Isn’t that just semantics? So what, if they say “underscores” as long as the AI prompt and intent are correct. With some MPs unable to reply to all emails, at least AI-assisted responses show many are trying to engage. If you want to debate the dumbing down of society because of AI, then that’s a different squabble. 🤪

🪠 Wet Wipe Island. RIP to the 5 million wet wipes which have been removed from the River Thames. 🤮 A three week clean-up revealed a mini-island of gunk featuring trousers, a car engine, and someone’s false teeth. London’s version of Treasure Island, if your treasure is pure filth.

⚽ Red card. Chelsea FC is facing serious penalties after being charged with 74 rule breaches from 2009–2022 by the UK FA. Secret payments, dodgy agents, murky transfers. It’s football’s answer to “how not to run a club.”

💉 Big Shrinking pharma. Big Pharma is losing patience with Britain. Merck has scrapped a £1bn expansion and AstraZeneca paused a $271m one. Both moves fuel claims that the UK isn’t backing its pharma sector. Investment is going abroad and the drugs may follow.

💷 Welfare rethink. Nearly half a million young people are now on long-term sick leave, mostly for mental health. Politicians are calling for reform, but the real question is whether fixing benefits tackles the problem or just papers over a deeper crisis.

🏥 Healthcare league. Ever wondered how your local NHS trust stacks up? A brand-new league table reveals the best and worst hospitals, with rankings refreshed every three months. Transparency is in, whether the trusts like it or not!

GOOD NEWS… for democracy, after former Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro received a 27-year jail sentence for plotting a coup. BAD NEWS… for rising tensions with Russia, after Poland called for an urgent meeting with its fellow Nato members, due to Russia’s violation of its airspace.

🇳🇱 Gay therapy. Dutch lawmakers are set to criminalise “conversion therapy.” Camps, courses, and other therapy treatments that claim to “cure” homosexuality will now be punishable. It’s a long-overdue move to shut down an industry built on harm.

🇦🇺 Spy car. The Pacific Islands Forum has caused a stir. China wasn’t invited, but its cars were. The Australian PM was chauffeured around in Chinese-gifted vehicles, sparking mutters about espionage and corruption. He waved it off. Nothing to see here, folks.

🇫🇷 New PM. After a no-confidence vote ousted his last pick, Macron tapped Sébastien Lecornu as France’s youngest PM in decades. A loyal 39yo, ex-defence minister, he’s less a bold choice than a safe pair of hands for a shaky presidency.

🇨🇳 Illegal gas. China is openly defying US sanctions by ramping up imports of Russian natural gas and signing on to a new pipeline project. The message is clear: energy security comes first, even if it fuels geopolitical tension.

🇺🇸 Civil unrest. The murder of US conservative activist Charlie Kirk has unleashed a wave of racist threats against Black students and colleges in the US. The violence has shifted from one man’s killing to a broader climate of fear and intimidation.

👁 Describe a colour. For centuries philosophers and neuroscientists have asked… Do we all see colours the same way? A new study says yes. Our brains process colour almost identically. Turns out “your blue” really is my blue! 🟦

🦳 Your body’s age. Forget birthdays. Four quick challenges can reveal how old your body feels. Bonus test: if standing up requires grunts and groans, congratulations, you might be Alister. 😅

🏋 Slow your roll, cancer! Breast cancer survivors who lifted weights or did interval training showed higher levels of blood molecules that slow, even stop, cancer cell growth. Science says exercise isn’t just healthy. It’s protective.

🎵 Happier. As some Americans seek to escape the US, Ed Sheeran shocked fans by announcing he’s leaving the UK for the US with his family. The move is meant to give him more family time, while still keeping his global touring schedule.

🦷 Tooth hurtie. Within five years, you might be able to regrow a lost tooth. Japanese researchers are testing a drug that triggers the body to regrow adult teeth. Ice hockey and rugby players are paying very close attention.

⌚ Watch your tone. Swiss watchmaker Swatch poked fun at the US 39% tariffs by flipping the 3 and 9 on a watch face and naming the limited edition watch, “WHAT IF...TARIFFS?” This is one way to turn around their controversial Asian advertising debacle.

By Alister

When was the last time you went out and played tennis? Now might be the perfect time before we really hit winter.

Most councils have partnered with the Lawn Tennis Association (LTA), yep that’s really their name. They allow you to search for local courts, find competitions, and even get lessons!

For £5 I managed to get a court for an hour, well maintained, close by, and locked behind a pin. Such a great time! I’m far from the best, or even a competent player, but who doesn’t love a rally and a laugh?

By Alister (Meridyth: Not another pet-related meme! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Go and adopt a cat already…)

Do you love the cute fluffy animals in your life too much? Have you ever considered just how creepy we can be with our affection?

Over 733k likes and watched by over 4.7m people, you are not alone if you lock your pets inside to force them to spend time with you.

Let’s face it. We’ve all been there, demanding cuddles from our pets when we need them. 🐈‍⬛

Potential evidence of life on Mars has been found in a rock sample. The rock is 3.2-3.8bn years old. We aren’t in any danger, so you can join us for next week’s squabble.

Alister & Meridyth