Buying back my stolen car

ALISTER: The gov’t is publishing a league table of foreign criminals by nationality! It's nothing but xenophobic pandering that'll spark racial tensions. What possible benefit could this provide to the public except to paint certain nationalities as inherently criminal?

MERIDYTH: I get the side eye and I’m not a fan of this either. But I do appreciate gov’t transparency - even though this data sharing is suspect. I guess it could provide better insights into how the UK is spending taxpayer money on deportation programmes.

ALISTER: But don't you see the selective enforcement at play? We already know that Blacks and Asians are more likely to be stopped and searched than white people, and in some areas, it's 29 times more likely. These tables will simply lead to more discrimination. It's Robert Jenrick's rhetoric about “higher risk nationalities” all over again!

MERIDYTH: Yes, that’s my biggest fear too. But hopefully, it’s more about how we use the data. Perhaps understanding that most deported foreign criminals aren’t Black nor Asian can help curb discrimination against them. In reality, Albanians, Romanians, and Poles are the top 3 nationalities being deported. (Just hope those groups won’t be targeted now…)

ALISTER: I’m just really frustrated by it all. It feels like Trump style thinking is infiltrating the UK.

🚲️ Lime Bike riders beware! An unexpected amendment to the crime and policing bill for cyclists. Causing death by dangerous cycling would be brought in line with driving laws, meaning a potential life sentence. The amendments will be debated on Thursday.

🎧️ Block out the noise. The Lib Dems’ latest cause is loud music on public transport. They’re proposing targeting anyone playing loud music or videos with a £1,000 fine. Agreed, that’s pretty annoying, but of all the issues to tackle… really?

🪖 War games. The UK simulated the Russian attack on Ukraine but against the UK. And it’s not looking good. A breach is possible against the existing missile defence. Whilst a like for like attack is unlikely, it at least proved insightful and helped highlight much-needed defensive upgrades.

🗳️ Local elections. Labour has ramped up their attacks on Reform ahead of a number of local elections across England. "Where are their answers to the problems that they're moaning about? There are none." said Sir Keir Starmer. Reform, who’s been gaining traction, is hopeful to win some seats in Parliament.

⛪️ A British Pope? The odds are extremely low, but never say never! There are four British cardinals who are eligible for nomination. Whilst three have made it clear they don’t consider themselves in the running, all of them have a degree of controversy. Maybe now is the time to give the film Conclave a watch.

Good news… for hope to ending the Russian-Ukrainian War, as Trump and Zelensky sat down together for the first time since February. Both have claimed it was productive. Bad news… as another war is on the brink between India and Pakistan, as tensions and gunfire rise along the Kashmir border. Apple may want to rethink moving their iPhone production to India.

⛪️ Pope Francis remembered. It was an emotional weekend for many at the Vatican City and around the world, as Pope Francis was buried at his favourite church. Whilst the internet took to spreading the rumour that American VP JD Vance killed the Pope, there had been a real issue with people taking selfies with the Pope’s body. What is wrong with people!

🙃 Did we hurt your feelings? It seems the “vicious” left has really upset Elon Musk. He’s thinking about stepping back from politics and focusing on his car company instead, whose share price and reputation have taken a beating.

🗡️ Fatal school stabbing. French prime minister, François Bayrou, has called for a crackdown on knife crime. This comes after a high-school student attacked students with a knife during lunch break. One student was killed with at least one other in a critical condition.

🥞 Breakfast in space. The European Space Agency (ESA) is assessing the viability of growing so-called lab-grown food in low gravity (but higher radiation) in space. (I do love me some astronaut ice cream.)

🙉 Monkey see, monkey do. Nigel Farage is causing some neurodivergent disruption. Taking a page from the Americans, Farage claims that family GPs are over diagnosing children with special needs. The National Autistic Society fired back saying he’s spreading fake news and that GPs don’t diagnose autism.

🍪 You’re eating them wrong. A McVitie's factory boss, Anthony Coulson, has told us we are eating the famous biscuit incorrectly. The "correct" way to eat one: chocolate side down. Why? So that your tongue gets the chocolate hit first.

📽️ That hasn’t always been the case? A new proposal for the voting process at the Oscars has been announced. Now, you have to watch the films before you vote on them. Was it just us who assumed the judges actually watched all the films?

🎴 Move over Pokemon. A new card game is the latest craze in Japan… featuring middle-aged men. Known as Ossan Cards, the trading cards have gone from "niche curiosity to full-blown cultural phenomenon", said Collector Club, which describes it as Top Trumps, but with "blokes called Hiroshi and Kenji".

🍆 Who came first? The world’s first “sperm race” has finished. Crowds watched two sets of sperm under a microscope swim through a race across a track fitted with “chemical signals, fluid dynamics, synchronised starts” to encourage swimming.

🤬 Fatherf*cker is apparently the third most offensive word for Britons according to YouGov. With the C-word topping the list, it’s been interesting to see Arse at the very bottom. It seems censoring letters from a word is a good indicator for offensiveness.

By Meridyth

Do you recycle at home? What about recycle at large supermarkets or recycling points? Don’t know what I’m talking about?

Next time you’re cooking, check the labels on your food packaging. Most people simply see, “Don’t recycle at home” and then throw stuff into the waste bin. But did you catch the bit in the green box?

Most soft plastic packaging and food wrappers can be recycled at larger grocery stores. (Think: Walker’s crisp bags, granola bar wrappers, clear plastic bags that tenderstem broccoli comes in, etc.) This website will even help you find a recycling point, which is a lot closer than you think!

We all know plastics are bad for the environment, including soft plastics that are often forgotten about. So next time, really look at the packaging and don’t throw these away!

Pro Tip — I place a reusable bag near my bins and throw all of those soft plastics and wrappers in there. And when I next head to the shops, I take the bag with me. I’m able to recycle and have an extra bag for carrying home my purchases!

If you haven’t guessed it, we’re not big Trump fans here at The AM Squabble. So we can’t help but love this video of Macron effortlessly avoiding Trump’s hand with class.

Now, we don’t know if this moment was intentional. And we do know Macron did shake Trump’s hand at Pope Francis’ funeral during the Sign of Peace. But we’re choosing to believe this was a snub, all the same. 😜 

Whew, you made it!

Not long until the next bank holiday… you got this! Be sure to join us next week for our “May Day” edition. It’s the same usual squabble, but on a May bank holiday.

Alister & Meridyth