MERIDYTH: Gene editing strikes again. Ugh. They've gone and created woolly mice as a first step in engineering mammoth-like elephants. Seriously? As if this world didn’t have enough problems, now we're playing Frankenstein with rodents.

ALISTER: Oh, come on. It’s pretty cool. Bringing back the woolly mammoth could fix the Arctic permafrost and stop greenhouse gas emissions. And the research could help endangered species. They're already working on a vaccine for elephants against a lethal virus.

MERIDYTH: Woolly mammoths aren’t being resurrected. They’re taking existing elephants and modifying them to grow hair in order to withstand colder temperatures. This type of god-like science has been shown to create genetic abnormalities, causing mutations and needless suffering.

ALISTER: I’m not for animal suffering, but think of the advancements this could bring. We could create crops resistant to extreme weather and feed parts of the world facing global warming. They've already developed heatwave-resistant plants that produce 30% more potatoes.

MERIDYTH: This isn’t about advancing science. It’s about shock and awe. I'd rather see efforts put into reducing carbon emissions than creating furry Franken-mice.

ALISTER: You have to admit though, the mice are kind of cute. 🥹 MERIDYTH: 🙄

🇬🇧 No squabble required

🚨 “He’s not the Messiah!“ (from Monty Python's Life of Brian) Reform UK is having a bit of a meltdown. One of their MPs has allegedly said they were a "protest party led by the Messiah“. The MP has now been suspended and referred to police with claims that he made "threats of physical violence" against the party chairman.

⚖️ The scales of justice. Tesco is now trialling giant weighing scales for your shopping trolly. After using the self-checkout, you then weigh your goods to confirm your purchase before being allowed to leave. With shoplifting on the rise, we’re seeing a range of novel workarounds.

 🪖 Trump’s positive influence. Whether you like him or not, his actions have rallied European nations together in support of the Ukraine. The UK and France are leading the push for a unified defence to guarantee ongoing safety and an end to the war. A former national security adviser warns that long-term safety could take many years, but this hasn’t deterred nations.

🏤 Stocking up on stamps? First class postage stamps are increasing by 5p. 2nd class stamps are expected to increase by 2p. It’s a tough balancing act, but we have our fingers crossed to see the beleaguered Royal Mail return to stability.

🚗 Hands at 10 and 2. Tesla’s hopes to introduce self-driving cars in the UK have been curtailed. The Dept for Transport has steered Tesla in a different direction by stipulating that automated “highway” manoeuvres (i.e. lane switching) can only be made while the driver’s hands remain on the wheel.

🌎️ The rest of the world… according to us

🇨🇦 “I’m not your buddy friend.” Canada hasn’t just reacted politically to the tariff whiplash with their neighbour. Domestically, many businesses have now completely removed US goods. Jack Daniels whiskey has been replaced with local brands, and many coffee shops have changed the Americano on their menu to a "Canadiano”.

🚀 It’s raining men tax dollars. SpaceX’s latest unmanned launch had a few issues. Which is a polite way of saying, it exploded in the sky and rocket debris fell across the Caribbean island nations. After Elon Musk’s gov’t cuts, the $22.6bn SpaceX is drawing a lot of side-eye for this second consecutive rocket failure.

🔥 Wildfires on the other coast. After the devastating wildfires in Los Angeles, new wildfires have popped up along the East Coast states in North & South Carolina and Georgia. Trump had placed conditions on its federal funding to left-wing California. So it’ll be interesting to see if he’s consistent with the right-leaning Southern states.

🍎 Part of your ‘5 A Day’

🤬 Sh*t. F*ck. W*nker. Next time you stub your toe, don’t hold back. Let the cursing flood gates open! Research shows that swearing may increase your pain tolerance. And it turns out saying, “Fudge” instead of “F*ck” is actually less effective. So if anyone gives you a dirty look for swearing, just tell them The AM Squabble said it was okay.

🩸 RIP to the most generous man ever. James Harrison, who has saved 2.4 million babies, passed away. Harrison donated plasma over 1,000 times to save at-risk newborns with his blood that contained a rare antibody. What an amazing man! The world is definitely lesser for it without him.

⏰ ULEZ works! Independent research has shown that the ultra low emission zone (ULEZ) within London has had a positive impact on the air quality. Nitrogen oxide levels (which can cause lung disease) were 15% lower compared to other regions, who rejected ULEZ.

🧦 The odd sock

♒️ International Women's Day Swim. An estimated 1,000 brave souls set out on a swim in the English Channel to mark the occasion. Brrrrr… 🥶 The lifeboat service (RNLI) even made an appearance with two boats fully crewed by their female volunteers!

😲 Where swearing might be an issue. Malta’s Eurovision song entry has run into some unexpected trouble. The phrase “serving kant“, which means to be bold and extravagant in a positive way and to sing, has been causing problems. Sadly “kant” with the Maltese accent sounds like the English c-word.

🎶 Speaking of Eurovision. The UK’s official Eurovision song is… (drum roll)… “What the hell just happened?” by Remember Monday. It’s got that sassy British feel and mixes that 90s girl band vibes with a modern twist. Let’s hope for a few less “Nul Points“ this year.

🦶 Just standing around. A YouTuber has broken the record for the longest time standing still - 38 hours with the full duration streamed live. Staged publicly, he was cared for, but also abused by passersby (seriously???). So major kudos managing to achieve the unusual record!

🤬 Rants or Raves 🤩

by Meridyth

If you’re in need of a new show to watch, I highly recommend the 8-episode series Paradise on Disney+, which aired its Season 1 finale last week.

It’s a weird, but highly entertaining blend of political thriller and dystopian drama. Against the backdrop of a Truman Show-esque neighbourhood, the President is found murdered and the Secret Service agent, who found him, is on a mission to catch the killer.

Sounds straight forward, right? Wrong. With flashbacks galore, you’re in for loads of twists and turns. And don’t forget, dystopian! I won’t ruin it for you, but I was completely hooked 10 minutes into the first episode.

I do warn you… The finale was a bit disappointing and felt rushed. But it still keeps you begging for more. Can’t wait for Season 2, which has been greenlit!

🤣 What do you meme? 

Everyone Hates Elon

A guerrilla group called, Everyone Hates Elon, has been putting up anti-Musk posters along London’s transport system. You may have seen the first one “Goes from 0 to 1939 in 3 seconds.”

But here’s the latest seen on the Victoria Line.

The TfL has stated that these aren’t approved ads. So they’ve advised staff to remove them. This is one rare occasion I’d rather the TfL staff not act with a sense of urgency.

Whew, you made it!

(Alister survived the rat poison, btw. Damn.) Hope you enjoyed the warm weather last week, because temperatures are expected to dip starting tomorrow. Check back next week for more weather-related whining!

Alister & Meridyth